when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
