I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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