just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he shaved USA in his pubs
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
