I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
please don't ironically join a cult
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