I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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