"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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