Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
