At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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