so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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