He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
