Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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