Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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