i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
