before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
