id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Boobs are out for the taking
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
