Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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