we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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