i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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