I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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