i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
