after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
