he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
only if we run a train.
done.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
These tits shall not be calmed
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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