I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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