He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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