She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
