I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
