I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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