His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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