So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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