I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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