Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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