Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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