mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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