so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she peed on how many people?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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