You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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