we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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