Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
