I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
