So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
