Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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