You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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