i barfeds in our rink
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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