Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
