Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my being single is dangerous.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
