im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
