Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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