You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
