i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
