Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
