i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
