She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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